fantastic beyond fantastic quotes

• all columnists should be beaten to a pulp and converted back into paper"
• 20th centrury? i could pick a century out of a hat, blindfolded, and get a better one
• its a charmed life, innocence wild, crayola skies for a thousand miles"
• a bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down....and won
• moderate strength is shown in violence, supreme strength is shown in levity
• Label jars, not people
• Koo Koo Kachoo
• We are everyday angels
• "Sic semper tyrannus."(Your dinosaur is ill.)
• Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.
• Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together
• Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity!
• Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
• The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.
• Boldly Going Nowhere.
• I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
• Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
• I am the walrus
• It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it
• I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
• If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
• Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
• When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
• It's only unethical if you get caught.
• It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
• I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected
• Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
• Remember, double negatives are a complete no-no
• Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
• Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.
• Fashion tip #56: never wear anything that panics the cat
• Education-the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty