my life questions - any answers, guesses, whatever, let me know

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
How do they get a kangaroo to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why is mozarella in the bobbly packaging 3cents more than in the sqaure one?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?