Thursday, August 18, 2005

im about to stop playing who shall i kill first in my head & just go with what feels natural

no matter what anyone says, you just gotta love black books. theres just nothing to match it. i think deep down we all long to be bernard. just kill to be that rude and callous. of, course, many of us are, but without the freedom that comes with it.

in other news, im trekking out to kinross on friday. why, i hear you ask, do i go to the back of beyond with no weapons but my quick wits and troupe of performing warrior monkeys? the answer is simple. i brave the dangers of these barbaric lands because somewhere in the heart of kinross lies my future bass. any who know of my worship for my guitar, and to a far lesser degree my harmonica, know exaclty what this noble quest means. am rather amped bout the whole thing really, and the warrior monkeys are too.

more to the point, i cant beleive i just constructed kinross as the barbaric troll dominion. just shows that selinas process of slow snobbification has worked. be proud. or worried. and more to the point, can you even have a snob who stops to manaically cackle in hallways?

speaking of which, if ever you have the chance to scare yr 8s and 9s, do it. doesn matter how, just do it. for example, selina and i terrified a group of youngsters by doing the mexican hat dance in the main school building the other day. then again by seeing her teach me to waltz. its fantastic. now they all give me awed/terrified looks in passing, and i get plenty of room on the stairs. this seemingly small thing is not to be lightly cast aside. without it it is very possible that you will be pushed by the insulent wenches over the stair rail, or be aggravated into throwing one of them over. in the past ive found the best defence to be to carry either a pointy metal ruler, a cross made from the sacred bark of the rowan tree, or a clove of garlic, depending on the year group in question. now these problems are virtually over, as most year groups now beleive that i am criminally insane. but theyre wrong. wanting to dig out the eyeballs of someone who annoys you with a pencil doesnt make you criminally insane......right?

well, seems it is time to turn in and read some soothing chapters of the scary militant power book before slipping into sweet, welcoming sleep.

g'nite all,
dream of infinite influence, bass guitar and my tribe of warrior monkeys nibbling at your toes


Anonymous Anonymous said...

warrior monkeys nibbling at my toes..i hope not..

6:16 pm  
Anonymous Sweets said...

Of course snobs can cackle in hallways! And it gets even better, cos ur not called insane, your "eccentric"

6:37 pm  
Blogger Mephistopheles said...

i've never met a woman who uses the word wenches like men do. Well, I have - you - but no others.

8:43 pm  
Anonymous bec said...

i wore a dunce hat for the whole day last week

i think all the year8s and 9s are laughing at me now


2:42 pm  
Blogger Conchita said...


1:34 am  

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