Tuesday, August 23, 2005


after a lifetime of despising my name, i have finally looked it up on the internet and thought better of it. ive long maintained that the worst and cruelest thing you can do to a child is to give it an unusual name. this, while seeminglycool at the tiime im sure, leads to endless psychological and administrative difficulties for said child, resulting in damage and a feeling of listlessness lasting their entire life. or at least thats my excuse. theres the whole problem of spelling to every single person you meet that most evil of names, cos they just cant seem to work out phonetics. and then having to explain where it comes from, in that ever so useful cover for the embarrassment of spelling it wrong in the first place. oh for a normal name. something that people can spell, and say. or so i thought.

i recently was so bored and desperate to procrastinate from writing a peice of creative fiction for a writing comp i dont feel like entering that i looked up the meaning of my name on one of those bogus meaning sites. the result was interesting, and just comfirmed to me that i should be worshipped by the vast majority of humanity. firstly, the masculine form of my name, kiran, means in sanskrit, sumbeam. ok, a promising beginning i thought, much better than the usual version of drunken eagle, not to mention its variations. i refuse to explain this, as most of you will understand anyway, and i choose not to degrade myself any more than is absolutely necessary. it then transpired that kira, in sanskrit, means aramanthan flower. i dont think aramanthan flowers would be anything much to look at, considering theyre stuck in some desert or other, but it still sounds pretty. kira is apparently the russian form of the english kyra. thats just cool cos its russian. i mean, come on, RUSSIAN. and finally, and my personal favourite, rani, again in sanskrit, means queen. that, i think counts as a clear indication that i was born to rule you. all of you. and on top of that, my mum actually named me when she had a sanskrit name of her own, and intentionally in that language, so it all works. bow, my minions, bow.

your exulted ruler


Blogger Mephistopheles said...

i'll trade. I hate my boring name more than anything else. It's so stupid. different people were meant to be different. Everyone should have to come up with new names for each different kid. Or at least vaguely original ones often.

6:33 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well that sort of means ur a flower queen..i dunno? still sounds pretty..

8:08 pm  
Blogger The Demolitions Expert said...

flower queen... sounds like anotha way of saying gay actually...

9:11 pm  
Anonymous bec said...

you are indeed the queen of the drunken eagles who sit on amaranthan flowers in sunbeams then ! D:

10:58 pm  
Blogger Rani-Banani said...

i would gladly have traded. its the cruelest thing you can do to a child giving it a name that nobody can spell or pronounce. and you end up with odd variations that they inevitably hate. is not a good state of affairs

11:35 pm  
Blogger Joy Joy said...

hmm...i personally like ur name better than apple...imagine ... screaming APPLEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! across the school yard when u're a little kid... AND when ur a teenager!! imagine how u would be teased!! *shudders at the thought* and nicknames... wat could u make of apple?? appy? ap? ple? plee? aps? poor thing...and romeo too ... that's gotta be pretty bad ... "romeo romeo, where art thou romeo" and ... paris? a hetero...heterogeneous name... hetero...sumthin name in any case... wat was another one... michael jackson's kid: Blanket...i think... hmm...

5:50 pm  
Anonymous Sweets said...

The best/worst weird name has to be Frank Zappa's child: Moon Unit. Theres no comparison, how could anyone live with that? I think Kirani is a beautiful name.

8:10 pm  

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